The Alcohol Post...

Dave’s guide to buying alcohol in the Middle East:1) If at all possible, don’t do it.
2) If you absolutely have to do it, don’t dress conspicuously, don’t walk on any main streets, and avoid eye contact.
3) The lower the sun, the less visible the alcohol.
4) Try not to already be drunk, unless you run into someone who gives you trouble about the fact you’re buying alcohol in the Middle east, at which time play it off like you’re so drunk, you don’t actually realize you’re buying alcohol in the Middle East.
5) If someone continues to give you trouble, don’t offer them a beer as a token of peace.
6) If all else fails, say you’re on a mission from Allah and are using it for Martyr-esqe activities.
7) If you manage to make it with the alcohol intact, consume, and enjoy the fact you’re drinking a cheap bottle of rum in the middle of the most religious region in the world.
8) When you finish off the bottle, read Step 1.
Speaking of which, it seems appropriate to add in the alcohol post, has anyone ever taken the time to watch BBC for more than a few minutes at a time? See, I have a lot of downtime from class, and it’s typically so hot out that sitting indoors doesn’t make me feel quite as guilty as sitting on my couch in Monterey watching endless reruns of Scrubs, so I get the opportunity to watch the news out here. Ok, let’s take this dilemma of mine step by step. I was sold on this apartment with a selling point of, “And, it has satellite tv with over 500 channels!”
“500 channels,” I thought to myself, “Jackpot!”
Had I been smart enough to read the fine print, I would have noticed the catch which says, “Two of which are English speaking channels.”
No problem, I told myself. I’m here to speak Arabic anyways and I need to learn to roll with the punches. Well, there’s only so much I can take of watching 513 channels in a language I can’t understand and I have yet to find a Scrubs DVD with Arabic subtitles, so I naturally come back to Channel 3 – BBC – or Channel 8 – English al Jazeera.
Now, I was under the impression there was a lot of news to report on, but apparently, only about five, sometimes as many as seven stories make the cut each day. Anyone out there who goes off about the fair, timely, and accurate reporting of BBC and al Jazeera has never watched more than 15 minutes of the actual channel. The stories will go from “The North Korean Nuclear Issue!!!” to “How One Former Crack Addict Changed Her Life Around.” I already have a pretty good idea of the life of a BBC reporter. Hit record, set on loop, let’s get some drinks.
What al Jazeera should have reported on is the fact there was a cloud in the sky today. It was high and rather skimpy in fluff, but it was there. The sun soon took care of the blemish…